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Jesus said that even if you only desire a man or a woman, without physical contact, you have already committed adultery with that person in your heart. Just think how many times porn viewers have committed adultery.
Matthew 5:27
You have heard that it was said to the ancients: Thou shalt not commit adultery. But I tell you that whoever looks at a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in her heart.
Some may say that viewing porn or lusting after a person without the physical act is totally harmless and won’t make anyone cheat, I disagree, it’s one thing to be happily married and still able to appreciate someone else’s beauty without lusting after. Whether it’s that “hot girl” neighbor of yours in apartment 7A or Mr. “McDreamy” you run into every day on your way to work every morning, it’s another thing to wish on that co-worker or your best friend. spouse etc. Not to mention the fact that viewing porn is disrespectful to your spouse.
The more you think about having sex with someone other than your spouse, the more it sticks in your mind and you start thinking of ways to make it a reality, the thought or image of you engaging in hot, heavy sex with this person. or even those porn photos that you hide under the bed, they are burned in your subconscious and will make you want your spouse to imitate what you have seen or you will try to seduce and have sex with the person you are longing for.
The saying, from the heart; the mouth speaks is not an empty phrase.
What if you were chatting online with someone and you felt like you had a lot in common with them?
“Wow, my spouse doesn’t know me as well as you do, we just have this powerful connection” or maybe they were talking back and forth, engaging in lots of sexual banter trying to outdo each other at what they want to do. each other sexually and how fast, slow or long they want to do it. Meanwhile, your spouse is innocently in the bedroom watching TV, unaware that their sexual conversation is going on fast and furiously just a few feet away in the next room.
Can you honestly say that’s not cheating and it’s just bragging, having fun and it will never go anywhere, we’ve both set limits, we know how far to go? Really?
What if you were at work and you were talking to your co-worker, who you’ve known for years, you’ve had the occasional “how are you?” over the years, but now that you’ve had a few conversations with each other, you feel good about all the attention you get and the conversation
turns into sex and you end up sharing a long, slow, wet, passionate kiss and you feel bad about
that; but he reasons, “I won’t let that happen again.” My spouse doesn’t have to know; he/she will only make things worse, what she/he doesn’t know won’t hurt her “Would that qualify as cheating?
You don’t have to engage in physical contact to have committed adultery, and even when it gets physical, whether it’s a passionate kiss, a “longer” than normal hug, or that “dirty talk” it’s still cheating. Physical adultery, just like a toddler learning to walk, starts with very small steps, lust becomes a fantasy and can lead to masturbation or going out to act out your lustful fantasy.
Romans 12:2 says that we must be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Replace those lustful thoughts with godly thoughts, spend time in the word, ask God in prayer to forgive and remove the lustful thoughts.
Instead, think about how I can be a better spouse, stir up some romance with your beloved spouse, do you know who you pledged your undying love to before God and 250 of your closest friends and family at the wedding? Yes, that 🙂
Galatians 5:16-17
I say, then, walk in the spirit, and do not satisfy the desires of the flesh, because the flesh covets against the spirit, and the spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to each other, so that you do not do the things that you want. In other words, watch your heart, cheating and sex in general is everywhere in the media, so you have to be strong.
Your lust outside of your marriage could be a sign of larger relationship problems you might have with your spouse and that requires communication or if necessary Christian counseling, it may be part of one or both spouses not meeting your needs, such as emotionally or sexually; but it takes two people, making the effort to solve their marital problems, with God at the forefront for it to really work.
Deception, whether physical or not, can lead to violence, a sense of betrayal, family dysfunction, emotionally scarred children, divorce, and estrangement from God. God is too clean of eyes to look at sin. The Bible says in Psalm 66:18 that if I look at the iniquity in my heart, he (God) will not listen to me. So if he’s a cheater, he’s likely to get caught or, if he’s tempted to cheat, work on his marriage.
Proverbs 5:15
Drink water from your own cistern, in other words, you want only your spouse sexually, you have your beautiful girlfriend or a beautiful husband, why destroy your marriage and your relationship with God by desiring some prostitute or imbecile by thinking that the grass being greener on the other side (it never is).
So what if the girl paying attention to you is “sexier” than your wife? Are you already drunk and besides, the outer physical beauty is only skin deep? So what if she has a “Movie Star” look, she’s 6ft 4in and makes you laugh and feel like a million bucks? Many women will eat the attention; but you don’t have to, he probably won’t really love you, rather he is trying to charm you out of your clothes. Love is not just a feeling; it’s a compromise.
Again, bring up any issues you may have with each other, seek God together and work it out, and despite what a recent ABCNews column may say about cheating being more “culturally acceptable,” it is definitely not acceptable in the eyes of of God.
