Sometimes I hear of wives whose husbands have cheated more than once. This is bad enough. But sometimes, he is cheating on the same woman multiple times. I recently heard from a wife who said in part, “I was beyond devastated the first time I found out about my husband’s affair. I knew the woman he cheated on, so this made it particularly difficult. But we held on and on. We tried to do everything we could to save the marriage. He insisted that the other woman meant nothing to him and I thought we had recovered. We fast forward eight months later. I found out that he spoke to the same woman again and started seeing her again. I told my husband that he obviously must love this woman because he can’t seem to let her go. He insists that he doesn’t and says that feelings for her are ‘complicated’ but they are not love. He says that love is the thing. that he feels for me. I’m out of my mind. How can he cheat on this woman twice (and probably hasn’t let her go yet) and then claim he doesn’t love her? deception if I thought he did not love her. But how can i believe this “I will explore this further in the next article.

Many wives share her opinion. Countless wives have admitted to me that their greatest fear is that their husband is in love with the other woman. Yes, physical infidelity hurts, but emotional infidelity is almost unbearable. Is it possible for a husband to cheat on the same woman several times and not love her? I think sometimes it is and I’ll tell you why I feel this way.

Why it is sometimes possible for a man to cheat on the same woman several times and not love her: Before I begin to share my opinion, I must tell you that there is no way for me to know how the husband really feels in this scenario. I do not know this couple or the other woman involved. You may have emotional feelings and you may not.

That being said, I sometimes communicate with men in this situation on my blog. I have also done a lot of research on this topic. I think some men cheat because of the way the other woman makes him feel more than how he feels about her. He often reacts to whatever rewards he is getting. And this reward may be that she makes him feel attractive, accomplished, powerful, or confident, etc. In other words, if she can address the insecurities he is dealing with and bring him some relief, then often his “feelings” for her come from the way she makes him feel better about himself. In fact, if you ask the same man what he finds so attractive, irresistible, or attractive about the other woman, he will generally not list or mention the reasoning that has anything to do with her. She will not often tell you that she is a good or nice person that she looks up to.

The wife often assumes that she will talk about her appearance or other talents, but this is not always the case. What you will normally hear instead is something of the effect that she hears from you. She understands. She doesn’t pressure or question him. In other words, you feel some relief from stress when you are with her. Therefore, he will not necessarily return again and again for love of her as a person or partner. He might come back again and again for the love of himself.

Understand the most important problem at hand: I fully understand that the fear that her husband may be in love with another woman is probably what is driving her right now. But, in truth, the most important thing is that you have not yet recovered to the point where you are not repeating the same behaviors. Because if he could successfully address what got him to her in the first place, it wouldn’t be that likely that he would come back one more time.

And sometimes, this is your own personal battle. You can support him on that, but you can’t necessarily fix it for him. You can strengthen your marriage and uncover any individual problems, but you must also be willing to act on any vulnerabilities you have encountered. So where does that leave the wife in this situation? Well, even though I understood why he kept demanding answers about his love for this other woman, I didn’t think that continuing to ask the question was actually doing him any good. Her husband was likely still denying any love and, frankly, in his own mind, he might believe he was telling the truth.

The bigger questions should be: are you willing to completely distance yourself from this woman, work through all the issues that lead to infidelity, and commit to your wife and marriage? Because if he could and wanted to do this and the marriage actually not only survived but strengthened, then at the end of the day, this other woman would really only be a footnote in this couple’s history. But by continuing to raise her and asking her answers about her, the wife was actually empowering her and allowing her back in.

The best thing to do is try to take her out of the equation entirely and make marriage and recovery focus on the husband and wife and no one else.

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