Pure Romance isn’t just about candlelit dinners and fine wine. It’s not just flower petals on the floor leading to the bedroom. It’s also more than just sending love notes in emails or leaving sweet messages for them to find in unexpected places. True Romance is about how two people in a relationship spend time together every day in everything they do.

To have a romantic relationship, it helps to have a love compatibility. (Think about that before you get too serious with someone.) We must have mutual desires or at least be willing to compromise to please each other in the things we do together. In fact, having the desire and willingness to do things together on a regular basis will partially answer the question, “What is love?” for many people

Pure romance for my wife and I is largely determined by the many things we do together every day, or at various times throughout the weeks and months of the year.

Examples that do not cost money (or much)

When you’re home, don’t ignore each other. That’s where the pure romance begins. Dating isn’t the only time couples are supposed to be together. Whether you’re married or not, there are things you can do together when you’re at home. Doing so shows respect to her lover and makes him feel valued.

These are some of the things my amazing wife and I do together at home. A big one for us is watching TV or movies. We probably watch at least one movie together every day. We eat together every day, either at the table or in our bed. We pray and read the Bible together (not as much as we should). We even built a website together where we share the story of how we met online and struck up a long-distance relationship.

Away from home, we go to church together and go on walks or hikes (mostly when the weather is over 50 degrees). Recently, we started volunteering together at a Food Bank. We have also gone swimming at the beach or in the pools, usually with your children or mine.

Those are just a few of the free or low-cost things my wife and I have done to help keep our pure romance alive. Make a few of these and make up your own “together time” things for you and your lover.

Examples that cost money

One of the things I’ve promised to do with my wife, Jamie, every other week is meet her for lunch when she’s at work. I’ve been laid off, so my schedule has been flexible in that way. We enjoy an hour together, sometimes at the Magic Fountain of the company where he works. A couple of our other lunch spots are TGIF and Applebee’s. Going out to dinner is also one of our favorite activities to do at any time. If you asked us what our favorite restaurant is, we’d both say “Red Lobster.” We go there for almost every special occasion, and sometimes just for the heck of it. We’ve also been to a few others more than once, but we love variety and have dined at many different places in the 2 1/2 years we’ve been together (we met online in 2008).

Guys, be nice to your girlfriend, fiancé or wife and go shopping with her. You are showing her respect by being willing to be alone with her, even if she is not your first choice of entertainment. Jamie and I go shopping together every two weeks. My wife loves that I go with her. We have also gone together to markets, shopping centers or wherever. Even if you are not a man who likes to shop, show your lover that you are willing to be with her if that is what he wants to do.

There are many other activities that my wife and I do so that our own pure romance doesn’t fade. We like to go bowling (Jamie always kicks my butt). Going to the movies is another of our favorites. We have also played miniature golf and been to amusement parks and museums.

Another great thing to do is go on day trips. If my wife and I are in my home state of Pennsylvania, we could make memories in Gettysburg (also my kids’ favorite) or Baltimore. When we are in my wife’s home territory of Jersey, we take the train to New York City. We have had a great time there (walks through Battery Park or Central Park, Wax Museum, King Tut Museum, Phantom of the Opera on Broadway, New York Philharmonic, dinners, etc.). And of course we’ve made it to the beaches of the Jersey Shore.

Don’t lose that pure romance you first felt when you met. Love and passion are not only kept alive by your sweet words and mutual contact. Keeping their romance alive depends on everything they do with each other every day. Let’s all spend consistent time with our partners, inside and outside the home.

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