With all the celebrities breaking up and getting back together lately, it seems like there are second chances up in the air. There is no doubt that sometimes couples break up for the wrong reasons, and the second time can be the charm. There are also times when ending a relationship is best. Learn how to decide when to give a broken engagement a second chance.
Working in a bridal salon, I witnessed more than one broken engagement. Happily, I also saw some reconciliations. The best advice for wedding planning in those situations is that if the marriage is meant to be, it will resolve your differences and reignite your romance. If that doesn’t happen, just be glad you broke up before you get married. A broken engagement is better than a divorce or bad marriage.
Couples who renewed their commitments were typically the ones who broke up because one of them was not ready to commit to the marriage. They were often younger people, perhaps engaged fresh out of college. It’s easy enough to get carried away by the excitement of bridal jewelry, wedding dresses, and love, and then start to cool down as your wedding day approaches. Sometimes it helps to step back and get perspective on the situation. You may even find that the relationship is right for you, only things need to progress a little more slowly. That’s a situation where giving a broken engagement a second chance may be a good idea after a while has passed.
Some couples cancel an engagement because they are working on things from their past or current traumas. A man who proposes to her shortly after learning that his girlfriend has a serious illness may find that she worries that he proposed to her out of pity. The same is true when a couple becomes engaged shortly after losing a loved one. Those doubts can begin to settle in and the person affected by the trauma walks away. If the proposal was offered in a spirit of true love, not out of sympathy, this is a relationship that has a good chance of being saved. Time begins to soften the wounds and the couple begins to realize that they have always been together.
There are other relationships that should not be renewed. If you broke off your engagement because your fiancé was cheating on you, it’s best to make a clear breakup and move on. There’s no point in getting someone you don’t trust back, and by doing so, you could be sending the message that they may treat you badly and get away with it. It’s definitely not a good thing for a relationship! Other engagements are broken because the man begins to realize that his fiancee is more interested in wedding decorations, such as elegant dresses and sparkling bridal jewelry, than in being married to him. This again is a sign that the commitment should not be renewed.
Not everything is so clear when it comes to relationships. Sometimes a man and a woman are very different people. They can love each other passionately, but they also have many conflicts caused by their differences. If you broke up during an argument over something silly, there is a chance that the relationship could be salvaged. What you really have to decide is whether you are happier with the other person, despite your differences, or more happy and relaxed away from them. Distance and time will help you figure this out. Ultimately, only the two of you can decide when it’s okay to give your broken engagement a second chance and when it’s best to go your separate ways.