If you’ve been reading about the codependent woman and codependency, you probably know that the codependent woman is often attracted to and associates with a man with mental health issues. It could be an alcoholic or a drug addict. You could suffer from a personality disorder such as Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Antisocial Personality Disorder. However, the man could well suffer from addictions and a personality disorder at the same time.
Even if the man does not actually suffer from a full-blown personality disorder, he probably has enough mental health problems that he is not able to provide the woman with the kind of relationship that she really wants. For example, while most women expect a partner, he is likely to want to control her. It could also be abusive to achieve this goal. And while the narcissistic man may rely primarily on verbal abuse or emotional abuse to achieve his goals, the man suffering from antisocial personality disorder tends to become physically abusive, often starting with verbal abuse and emotional abuse, and then adding the physical abuse.
In fact, the man with a personality disorder and addiction problems is not able to provide a woman with what she wants in a relationship. Not only is he prone to being abusive, but he is essentially incapable of loving, either giving it or receiving it. It may seem very strong at first, or it may seem quite romantic and loving. Sex could be great too. But once this type of man thinks he has the woman hooked, things tend to change drastically. Since he likely chose her because of his tendency to codependency, which he probably discovered right away, she tends to get confused about why he doesn’t treat her the way he did before. She keeps waiting for the days of wine and roses to return when, instead, they are likely to be over for good. However, she will believe him when he tells her that if she did this or that thing better, or so and so differently, those good morning might as well come back!
Sure, anything might happen. But that doesn’t mean it ever will. And, in the case of the relationship with the narcissistic, abusive and addicted man, the woman may well transform into a pretzel to try to please him, but he will never be pleased. Of course, she doesn’t realize that he must always be right. That means you must do it wrong. In fact, you need to be better than everyone else. That means you must do it less than. So, she will always lose. But, due to their codependency, it is very possible that she continues to deny what is really happening (the dynamics of their relationship, which he is not about to change), since they serve him so well.
All abusive relationships affected by PTSD are not the same
But what about a relationship that we are seeing more of now and will see more of in the future still, one that is affected by PTSD or PTSD? Do women who are in relationships with abusive and addicted PTSD victims have codependency? After all, many PTSD patients are angry and can be verbally and emotionally abusive. In fact, some will become physically violent, even killing their partner. Many people with PTSD abuse alcohol and drugs to try to better manage troublesome PTSD symptoms, which only increases the chances that the victim will become abusive to their partner.
To answer the question about codependency, you need to consider whether the woman was already in a relationship with this person before she developed PTSD, or whether she became involved with a person who suffered from long-term PTSD and exhibited these types of problems or issues straight from the start. beginning of your relationship? Also, has this person with PTSD not done anything to try to deal with the troublesome symptoms of PTSD? In the first case, the woman could have sent her partner to the war zone seeing her lover as a type of man. If you developed PTSD as a result of that experience, you may have come back seemingly as a stranger. The symptoms of PTSD can do that to a person and thus change the nature of their relationship overnight into something that is the antithesis of warmth and love. As mentioned above, in fact, it could turn deadly.
The woman involved with someone who developed PTSD more recently and exhibits problematic behaviors due to PTSD should be concerned about her physical and emotional well-being, as well as that of the children present, because the person suffering from PTSD can be a danger to others and for himself. You could actually have suicidal and homicidal thoughts, thoughts that you would never have had before developing PTSD. Therefore, the woman in a relationship with such a man must always have a safety plan and be prepared to leave. However, at the same time, if he is getting help for those PTSD symptoms, she must hope that things will get better. She probably wants to put up with and support you because, in fact, your support will likely help him get better and become something more like the man he was before. While you may never become the same person because, for example, war changes people, that does not mean that they cannot have a good relationship and happy family once again.
The woman who hopes her willingness to continue giving to the man suffering from PTSD for years, but without seeking treatment, faces a different situation. You need to realize that long-term PTSD sufferers have been helped. So instead of just giving and giving in the way that a codependent woman is inclined to do, you may want to stop and ask your partner if they have considered receiving any psychotherapy to help you better manage your PTSD symptoms. Also, do you realize that there are medications that could also help control those symptoms? If he indicates that he has tried those things and they did not work, then you may need to stop and ask yourself if there are things wrong with this image that you cannot change. Or, if he says that no one can help him, that only the weak seek help, or he certainly does not have any mental health problems, but she is becoming a victim of them quite regularly, then he should probably erase his denial and stare. . instead, the face of reality.
It can be sad that someone has to develop and suffer from PTSD. But because the person suffering from PTSD has allowed their life to be ruined by those PTSD symptoms, should the woman stay and ruin her life too? You can make a conscious decision to do so; For example, you believe that this is your purpose or mission, and no matter what sacrifices you must make, you certainly will. But if you find that you are doing this because you are used to being stepped on or used and abused by others because this happened to you in childhood, then you may want to consider the fact that you are behaving like a codependent. Also, you may not want to keep working towards becoming a codependent.
By the way, we are not trying to blame or condemn the victim of PTSD. The PTSD sufferer likely experienced one or more traumatic events beyond their control. Then his brain reacted in ways that the individual couldn’t control, at least not initially. But since the brain is more malleable than mental health experts once believed, with proper therapy, it is possible to reconfigure the brain in such a way that the symptoms of PTSD disappear completely, or at least become more manageable. . In addition, psychotherapists know techniques to teach PTSD patients so that they can better control the remaining symptoms.
If you are concerned about a woman who is inclined to sit down and accept abuse from her partner, take responsibility for the problems created by PTSD symptoms or engage in other behaviors that she considers loving and caring while getting you and others to do so. . raise her eyebrows, you may want to gently suggest that you suspect she might be suffering from codependency. Plus, she might as well do herself and her partner a favor by pushing for recovery: his from those debilitating symptoms of PTSD and hers from codependency.
