Things just didn’t go as planned. I was disappointed and my confidence level plummeted. I could easily get mired in procrastination—reading countless emails like they were gifts from the universe, flipping through endless stacks of papers piled on my desk, or staring out my office window—but none of these things will spur me to move. from my self-imposed exile to inertia.
The stacks of papers stacked on my desk have been rearranged at least ten times, and nothing has yet been filed or thrown away. I stop moving papers long enough to distract myself and investigate what’s in a drawer that is rarely opened.
As I mindlessly drift from one distracting activity to another, Diana Krall, one of my favorite vocalists, is singing “Pick Yourself Up and Start All Over Again” on the radio:
I have found nothing impossible
Cause when my chin is on the ground
I get up, dust myself off, start all over again
Don’t lose confidence if you slip
Be thankful for a pleasant trip
and get up
Dust yourself off and start all over again
Bingo! That is the exact message I need to hear!
That’s when I realize how I let a disappointing setback plunge me into this state of confusion, sapped my energy, and bogged me down instead of being productive and focused.
Has it ever happened to you?
You may be wondering how a coach/therapist can get to such a place. Well I get there like everyone else by allowing he. I allowed it by thinking about what “could/should” have been and letting disappointment taint my world with a smokescreen of procrastination.
As Dr. Wayne Dyer says, “No one can make you depressed. No one can make you anxious. No one can hurt your feelings. No one can do anything to you except what you want.” ALLOW inside.’
I allowed the negative talk to kill my motivation and distract me from starting over. But the good news is that I know how to get out of the momentum and get back on track.
Here’s what I learned from dealing with disappointment, procrastination, and setbacks:
Let go – If I’m procrastinating, maybe my mind and body are telling me to just “be”. And if that means surfing Facebook and other sites for hours, maybe that’s just the downtime I need to rejuvenate my body, mind, and spirit. Downtime is not a bad thing. And, when all is said and done, it’s good to “chill out” and take a break from your normal routine, as long as you’re not using the time to slow down progress.
Acknowledge setbacks, but don’t dwell on them. – Do not punish yourself if things do not go as expected. Dwelling on a disappointing setback only serves to erode your confidence and prevent you from achieving your goals. The key is to learn from the lesson that lurks in the setback and move on to things that give you a sense of accomplishment and success.
Reassess your expectations – Disappointment may mean that you have set yourself an unrealistic expectation. When you find yourself disappointed and procrastinating and stuck, use the time to reflect and refocus on your expectations. The result could be more clarity, relaxation, and direction.
How do you bounce back when faced with setbacks, procrastination, and disappointment?