Finding out that your girlfriend has cheated on you is devastating. The betrayal of trust, the pain of shattered love, and the blow to your self-esteem are absolute heartaches. Consequently, it can be very confusing if, in the middle of all this, your girlfriend says that she wants you back.
Do you know how to get a girlfriend back after she cheated on you? Should you give your girlfriend a second chance? Do you really still want to be with the kind of person who would cheat on her boyfriend? How to get a girlfriend back if you don’t know if she will cheat on you again? In fact, how can you trust your girlfriend again? She Is she even sincere in her apology?
Fortunately, there are some signs to look for that will tell you if the relationship can be saved and how to win back a girlfriend. Here are some questions to ask.
What kind of adventure was it?
If it was an affair, a long-term emotionally involved affair, then the chances of repairing your relationship with your girlfriend are low. Essentially, your girlfriend has fallen in love with someone else, and that will prevent you from fixing your relationship. Although it is not impossible to recover, it will be difficult and will require a lot of work and sacrifice.
If it was just an affair, a purely physical, usually brief, anonymous affair with no emotional commitment, you’re lucky you can repair your relationship, and you just need to figure out how to get a girlfriend back and get over infidelity. Love affairs are the easiest affairs to recover from because they are meaningless, emotionless, and often the product of a temporary lapse in judgment.
Look at Flings this way. We all make mistakes. If YOU got drunk at a party, an attractive woman pounced on you, and in your uninhibited state you made a very bad decision, wouldn’t you want your girlfriend to give you a second chance?
Is the matter over?
Actions speak louder than words. If your girlfriend is really sorry and she really wants you to come back, she should end the affair right away or be willing to if you ask her to. Your girlfriend should cut ALL contact with that person (not “just be friends”).
It is impossible to rebuild a relationship broken by infidelity if the “other man” is still there tempting your girlfriend and dividing her attention and emotions. But, if your girlfriend has ended the affair and cut the person out of her life completely, all in an effort to win you back, then that’s a very good sign that your relationship can recover.
On the other hand, if your girlfriend hasn’t completely broken up with the new person and refuses to when you ask, you should question her sincerity about getting back together. Without action to back it up, apologies and professions of love are just empty words.
If your girlfriend wants you back but doesn’t end the affair, she may be cheating on you. That way there is only more rejection and anguish. If this is the case, you need to break off the relationship completely before you get hurt more.
can you forgive
Even if your girlfriend is willing to do whatever it takes, if you can’t forgive her, the relationship can still fail. If you try to get back at her, attack her by throwing infidelity in her face, or use it as leverage in an argument…is this like getting a girlfriend back? No. You’re just going to drive her further away from her. If you can’t forgive your girlfriend, don’t give her a “second chance” in the first place.
Rebuilding a relationship broken by infidelity takes a lot of work from BOTH sides. Sure, you’re hurt, angry, and distrustful. But you have to explain your anger to your girlfriend, not take it out on her. You have to share your pain with her to create understanding, not use it as a weapon to punish or manipulate. You have to slowly rebuild trust, not watch your girlfriend like a hawk. If you can’t do this, the relationship will never heal.
Finally, when the anger and hurt have subsided and trust has been rebuilt, you must forgive your girlfriend. This doesn’t mean you have to approve of the affair or forget it happened, but rather leave it behind as a bump in the road of your relationship, not an obstacle.
One last thing: give your girlfriend the benefit of the doubt and a second chance ONCE. A girlfriend cheating on you a second time wasn’t really sincere in the first place, and it will probably continue to happen. End the relationship now.
Now, hopefully, you have a better idea of if and how to win back a girlfriend who has cheated on you.