Jokes about unhappy marriages are not lacking; especially since nothing is funnier than the truth and there are no shortage of unhappy marriages. And when you consider that more than half of the people who marry end up getting divorced, you have to ask yourself what we’re doing wrong. Why can’t we just get along? Well, knowledge is power; And when you know something is causing a problem, you have a much better chance of learning how to handle it in such a way that it doesn’t cause problems. Ignorance, in this case, is not bliss. You may simply think that stress is a natural part of life and that the way you deal with common problems is the best or only way to deal with them. In both cases, you would be wrong; And until you begin to look at the causes of marital conflict and ask yourself how you are currently handling it and how you might be able to handle it better, your relationship probably won’t get much better. Here is a list of common sources of marital stress and conflict; Consider how you are currently dealing with these issues and how you might be able to handle them better:
1. Money: Most couples argue about bills, debts, expenses, and other financial matters.
2. Children: Discipline, diet, and other parenting issues can be sources of disagreement between couples.
3. Sex: Frequency, quantity, quality, and infidelity are common sources of stress and disharmony.
4. Schedules: time apart and lack of quality time together serve to make people lose harmony.
5. Chores: Many couples argue about the equitable distribution of housework and how to do it.
6. Friends – not all friends are useful for relationships – some of them are poisonous.
7. Habits: Many people are married to someone who has one or more clothes that they consider undesirable.
8. Family: In-laws, siblings, children, and stepchildren can create stress in a marriage.
9. Expectations: Judgments and unfulfilled expectations are a major source of conflict in marriages.
10. Personality conflicts: If you don’t like something about your partner, one of you needs to change.
You may recognize one or more of these areas as a stress area in your life and relationship. Each of these is a very common source of marital discord; but they are also areas of opportunity: opportunities for learning, growth and harmony or chaos, stress and misery. The choice is yours; But don’t just assume that your marriage is broken or that your partner is broken and that you are dealing with these issues in the best possible way. Suppose you can let go of an opinion, judgement, expectation, or belief that could create harmony in any of these areas where you experience friction, and your partner and your marriage will be fine when you work it out. . Would you be willing to change the way you view any or all of these issues, or is it easier and more convenient to simply change partners or relationships? Think about it; and then find a way to be okay with things in your life and relationship.