When I went through the dissolution of a family about twenty-six years ago, it was a real disaster. My ex was a Deputy Attorney General (PA) and I was a family law practitioner. We fought like archenemies, we were. It was incredible. Just a few years before we had promised, before God, to love each other until death do us part. Now here we were using all the dirty tricks we learned as lawyers on each other just to win what?
But what about the children?
Perhaps an even greater tragedy was that an innocent child was involved. The boy was relegated to the status of favorite painting. Not once did we give in to the best interests of the child. This continued for seven years. We subjected our son to a series of abuses at the tender age of twenty-four months. Our only care was to hurt each other.
you would think
One would think that the Lawyers would control us. The reality was that we were a gold mine of Lawyers. Imagine charging $200 an hour for two lawyers hell-bent on destroying each other. No fewer than six lawyers enthusiastically threw themselves into this matter just to get a piece of the pie. Looking back, it was ridiculous. Each of us ended up with no less than $85,000 in attorney bills. So that? Life went on, our son became a man, and we wasted what could have been a significant contribution to his college costs.
Turning hands forward
Fast-forward in time to the year 2000. There are now a number of programs dedicated to helping high-conflict families. Yes, there are still families like ours, only now we have some new tools.
One of these tools is the Court Appointed Special Advocate Program. According to the CASA Nacional program they are; volunteers appointed by judges to monitor and advocate for abused and neglected children, to ensure they are not lost in the overburdened legal and social service system or in inappropriate linguistic groups or foster homes. Volunteers stay with each case until it is closed and the child is placed in a safe, permanent home.
While CASA is not necessarily a specific family law program, the value of a CASA volunteer in a high-conflict family that places little importance on children cannot be underestimated.
Another very exciting program is called Parent Coordination. According to the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts, the Coordination of Parents does the following:
Parenting coordination is a child-centered alternative dispute resolution process in which a mental health or legal professional with training and experience in mediation helps high-conflict parents implement their parenting plan by facilitating the resolution of their disputes. disputes in a timely manner, educating parents about the needs of children. , and with the prior approval of the parties and/or the court, make decisions within the scope of the court order or appointment contract.
The overall goal of parenting coordination is to help high-conflict parents implement their parenting plan, monitor compliance with plan details, resolve conflicts related to their children and the parenting plan in a timely manner, and protect and maintain safe, healthy and meaningful relationships between parents and children. (AFCC, 2005)
Imagine, now the court can appoint a trained professional, who often has legal and/or mental health training and education, to do what lawyers can’t do and courts can’t. That is to help the family focus on the needs of the child. These professionals can teach parents how to make better decisions regarding their children. They can help parents reduce destructive conflict that can be multigenerational and can have intergenerational implications. Perhaps the biggest advantage is that it reduces the financial burdens on families that are often at their lowest point. Parent coordinators can help the family move forward when it’s easy to get caught up in the cycle of vitriolic litigation.
always a critic
As expected, the Coordination of Parents is not exempt from criticism. An article titled Parenting Coordination Problems: Pros and Cons. Parenting Coordination is a Bad Idea, Why: (The Liz Library, 2009), presents the most frequent objections. Many of the arguments in this article border on the absurd. Anyone who has experienced family dissolution knows that these claims are baseless.
However, as a lawyer, I understand the reaction of many bar associations. It’s not unlike the reaction of the National Association of Social Workers when states began offering licenses to other types of mental health providers. They just don’t feel comfortable with other professionals offering viable alternatives often at a lower cost.
The question remains, however, which is better for the family?
We also have supporters
One of the strongest advocates of Parental Coordination is the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC). The AFCC is the leading interdisciplinary and international association of professionals dedicated to the resolution of family conflicts. AFCC members are the leading professionals, researchers, professors, and policymakers in the field of family court. AFCC members include;
Judges, Lawyers, Mediators, Court Commissioners Court Administrators
Psychologists, Researchers, Academics, Psychiatrists, Counsellors, Social Workers
Custody Evaluators, Parenting Coordinators, Parent Educators
Financial Professionals
Together they write, Parenting coordination is appropriate for high-conflict cases dealing with child-related issues, such as when (Association of Family and Conciliation Courts, 2011);
– there is a high rate of litigation, especially in relation to the implementation of a custody order or parenting plan;
– mediation has been unsuccessful or considered inappropriate;
– parents need help developing, modifying, or implementing their parenting plan;
– parents have difficulty communicating information about the well-being of their children;
– the parents cannot agree on substantive issues relating to their child;
– there are complex child or family related issues that require intensive case management; Y
– Parents may pay for parenting coordinator services or services may be provided at no cost.
Furthermore, to ensure that Parent Liaison remains a viable program and to address some of the criticisms of the Parent Liaison Process, the AFCC has proposed model guidelines for Parent Liaisons. In the preamble they write.
The purpose of these Parenting Coordination Guidelines (“Guidelines”) is to provide:
1. Detailed practice guidelines for PC;
2. guidelines for PCs regarding the ethics of their duties and conduct;
3. PC qualifications, including relevant education, training, and experience;
4. assistance to jurisdictions that are implementing parenting coordination programs by providing practice guidelines that they may adopt; Y
5. assistance to jurisdictions, professional organizations, educational and professional institutions in the development and implementation of parenting coordination programs.
In conclusion
In February 2013, a man entered the New Castle County Courthouse in Delaware. There he proceeded to murder two young women and wound two Delaware police officers. He was finally killed by the police that morning. Turns out the gunman was the father-in-law of one of the women killed. They were all on their way to a Family Court proceeding.
A few years earlier, in 2005, a Family Court judge was shot and injured in a Nevada courthouse while standing near an open window. The author of the shots was alleged as a litigant before this Judge.
Back in 2005, a judge was assassinated in an Atlanta courthouse. Perhaps most notable were the comments of a Georgia attorney who said:
“You’re dealing with people who are unhappy about something and have sued someone or may face jail time or are fighting over child custody, the kind of thing that brings out raw emotions that can cause problems,” (emphasis aggregate). .
Finally,
“I would be surprised if a judge who handles criminal cases, or family law cases, or certain civil cases, hadn’t had threats made against him,” said Judge Gayle Nachtigal, president of the American Association of Judges.
All that can be said is that if these cases are producing this kind of public violence against our judges and police officers, we have to acknowledge that there is something fundamentally wrong with the way we are handling these issues.
These are not isolated, unusual incidents. Rather, this is a very real reality in the way the system is currently approaching the reshaping of our families and the consequences of that.
This should clearly tell us that the status quo is not working. What do we have to lose by trying new approaches? Especially new approaches expressly designed for the purpose of working with high-conflict families.
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Bibliography
Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (2005) Parent Coordination Guidelines. Retrieved from the APA website.
Association of Family and Conciliation Courts. (2011). Understand the parent coordination process. Obtained from the website of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts.
Liz Library. (2009). PARENTING COORDINATION issues – pros and cons . Obtained from the Liz Library website