I really hate seeing bullied mothers angry at their children, yelling and yelling over what appears to be petty crimes. I wish you could relax and enjoy your children more. Praise and approval are the easiest way to reward a child and change unwanted behaviors. Constant daily criticism will hurt a child and leave a lasting effect, ridicule and sarcasm should also be avoided. The important people in your life as a child create the strongest negative and positive effect, parents, grandparents, peers, and teachers.
You probably have some bad memories of childhood events that even now can affect the way you perceive yourself. I remember my father constantly telling me that I couldn’t sing and laughing at my attempts to sing in tune. I’m sure it was true and I didn’t mean to hurt, but instead of helping myself I stopped trying, I accepted that I couldn’t sing and even now I never sing, although I always wished I had learned to sing in tune as a child.
He was a kind but very precise conservative man, even when I was a teenager I had a strict bedtime and despite my efforts to be ready to go to bed on time, if he was literally 1 minute late, he would look at his watch and complained or commented. . This turned into something that I felt I could never please him with; I was disappointed that I couldn’t achieve what I set out to do and gave up trying. I remember feeling very sad when I was a teenager, desperately wanting to please him, but I often failed in my attempts. I’m sure he didn’t realize the discomfort he caused me, but keep in mind what your reactions mean to your son, observe his eyes and his body actions, so that you can react with empathy when disciplining him. These illustrations are meant to be reminders, I’m sure you also have situations from your childhood.
Always look for little things to praise rather than what is wrong. Be prepared to explain behaviors that are unacceptable to you, so that the child knows exactly what you have done that you dislike. Always be consistent and firm on important matters. Never laugh at bad behavior, even if your little bump is adorable and has a big smile and looks for attention, while being mischievous. A firm “NO” and a “look” or frown says a lot; if practiced from the beginning, there is seldom a need to yell. Save it for when danger is imminent. If you get into the habit of yelling for petty crimes, the yelling gets louder and louder. This causes both of you to become more and more stressed.
Staying calm and controlling the situation is a much better way and a good example for your child to emulate. Praise, love and approval is what all human beings and children yearn for more than most. Don’t be afraid to show your love to your children, your partner, and your parents. Help make the world a happier place!
