Relationships: Why do some people fall apart when a relationship comes to an end?

If you’ve just been through a breakup, you may find it difficult to focus on other areas of your life. Due to the amount of pain they are in, everything else could take a backseat.

Perhaps they were with someone for a long time and may even have had a strong connection with them. Therefore, now that the relationship has come to an end, it will be normal for them to feel pain.

Death
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What they are going through may be very similar to what they would go through if someone else had died. Your ex will not have died but what you had together will no longer exist.

This shows that it doesn’t matter if another person has passed away or just disappeared from one’s life; it is still going to be experienced as a loss. In both cases, your life will never be the same again.

a gradual process

However, as long as you allow yourself to cry and work on how you feel, you should be able to get up once more. As the weeks and months go by, they may start to feel better.

What had faded into the background at first may end up coming back into your life. So the things they lost interest in can soon go back to being things they enjoy doing.

external support

Another thing that will be important to them is making sure they have the right people around them during this time. They will be people who show you support and encouragement.

Along with this, do things with these people that give them a break from what’s going on. If one were their own island, they could rise again with the support of anyone else.

a distant memory

There may soon come a time when they will remember what happened and it will be as if they were remembering something they saw on TV. Then emotions will arise within them, but these emotions will not erase them.

When you get to this point, you can see that while this time in your life was difficult, it allowed you to grow. There may be a number of different things they learned, and they may even have ended up meeting someone who is a better match.

The ideal

One way of looking at the above scenario would be to say that this is what someone would expect to happen if they were to go through a breakout. They may not want to experience pain when a relationship ends, but they will definitely want to be able to get on with their lives as time goes by.

However, this is not going to be what happens to everyone. For some people, a breakup can cause them to experience a lot of pain, and this pain may not subside over time.

two ends

Unlike the person above, someone like that may experience a deep sense of loss, but this might not be as far as it goes. In addition to feeling sad and even hopeless, they could end up feeling suicidal.

Your inner world will be in complete disarray, and it might feel like your whole world has come to an end. Her reason for being alive will be gone, taking with it her reason for getting out of bed.

Down Right Down

From the outside, one will look like a complete human being, but on the inside, one will feel anything but complete. Like a small boat in the ocean, there will be nothing to stabilize your thoughts and feelings.

Before you were in the relationship, you may have been fine overall, making it hard for you to understand why you’re in such a mess. That is, of course, if they are able to think clearly at this stage of their life.

A reason

What this may show is that they did not receive the kind of attention they needed as children to develop a strong core/sense of self. Instead, this would have been a time when they were careless.

So now that the attachment you formed has come to an end, you will have brought up all the pain you experienced during this stage of your life. And since it is painful for them to experience this pain now, it will give them an understanding of how painful it must have been for them as children.

no foundation

Another way of looking at what happened would be to say that one will be like a house built on sound. If they had received proper care, they would be a house with a solid foundation.

By having strong foundations, the emotional strength within them would make it easier for them to handle what happened. That is why child neglect does so much damage, since the solid foundations that are needed to be able to face adult life are not formed; one just ends up with layers and layers of trauma and even brain damage.

Awareness

If you can relate to this and want to change your life, you may need to seek outside support. This is something that can be provided with the help of a therapist or healer.

Working with someone like that can allow them to go where they would not go alone. The presence that someone like this provides will make it easier for them to face how they feel and work through their pain.

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