More and more plaintiffs and trial attorneys are chasing outrageous quick bribes, using scammer tactics. What came first, loot or burn? This seems to be the question these people ask when going to court.
Is the water, something they’re smoking? Or is it just blind greed taken to a ridiculous extreme? Whatever the reason, frivolous lawsuits, brought by supposedly mentally stable people, have literally gone through the roof in the US court system. After reading the sample below, you decide if you represent more of the American system of jurisprudence, or the Twilight Zone, with a cast of swindlers.
> The Chicago Cubs are suing freeloaders who watch their baseball games through holes in the Wrigley Field fence. This violates their copyright, it is claimed. This sounds like a legal case brought by Goliath against David.
> In San Francisco, a teenager jumps off the Golden Gate Bridge. This violates the adolescent’s constitutional right not to be deprived of life without due process of law, is the accusation of her mother in a lawsuit filed against the Board of Directors of the Bridge. Deep pockets, anyone?
> In a movie, the bad guys drive a bulldozer. Bulldozer manufacturer sues, because showing bad guys driving their product “disparages” the good name of the brand.
> Man, armed with a shotgun, confronts the property owner. Thief attacks man who shoots in self defense and kills him. The man’s family sues the property owner, and although the district attorney has ruled the shooting justified, he wins the case. Illogical? It all sounds about as likely as peanut butter slipping off toast.
> A group of rioters drive by throwing fireworks from a car window. A rocket explodes inside the car and the rental car agency is sued. Result? Who knows? Still pending. Former Attorney General Janet Reno said it best: “I always wait until a jury has spoken before I anticipate what they will do.”
> The lottery winner says his winnings were affected because the seller did not explain that there was a limit on winnings. The court finds in his favor. The jury must have felt that upholding the rights of downtrodden lottery winners was an important constitutional issue.
> A man who had legally changed his name to “Jack Ass” is suing MTV for $50,000,000, alleging that his series, “jackass” disparages his “good name.” This goes to show that almost anyone can become a bottomless pit of needs and wants.
Holy cows make the best burger. That seems to be the rallying cry of a portion of the legal profession today, which uses con-style tactics while policing anyone and everyone, especially those with “deep pockets,” in order to steal.