There is nothing worse than having a stupid nickname. Some people are giving the institution of romance a bad name. My G **! What the hell is happening to our African brothers? Men tend to think of women as psychotic sisters. I mean, what do you guys expect with the ridiculous nicknames you give us?
Imagine this; you’re going to have a romantic dinner with your man. Everything looks perfect from your hairstyle to the way you look with that red / black number you are wearing. Girl you look like a million dollars Your man takes your hand and starts stroking it. You’re thinking my, my, my; What have I done to deserve such a romantic man? If it was Christmas, I’d say I was probably first on Santa’s list. The mood is so pleasant that you can almost taste it.
He looks you straight in the eye and says, ulikhaphetshu lam (you are my cabbage). You’re not dressed in green, and you sure aren’t as round as a cabbage. Things are definitely going to get ugly. Cabbages do not “age gracefully.” They turn yellowish in color and the smell is definitely not pleasant. Someone help me understand! I mean, how can one, for example, use a thoughtless and demeaning name like Peanut, or even Pumpkin? I love pumpkin, but man, you call me that, you’re fired. Period!
Other names that our brothers think are okay (even the sisters), sweetheart and sweetheart Pie. Are you serious? People dig into the honey pot almost every day and minute. You should see the way they lick their hands afterwards. I’m telling you, these nicknames are patronizing and should be banned forever.
Who wants to be called my Dululu, Lovey, sweetie or worse yet, sweetheart? Prison guards use “sweetie” all the time when talking to inmates. “Honey, this is not a hotel, this is a prison” or “Honey, the phone is not working.” You can imagine! What happened to nicknames like S’thandwa sam (my love)? That is better; or call your loved one by name. You will never go wrong.
Eish! Maar our North African brothers, Nigerians, yho, yho, yho! They are the worst when it comes to nicknames. The most popular is Mommy. Boy do I look like your mother? That one will definitely give me a prison record. No doubt!