There are right and wrong reasons for getting married. The worst thing a person can do to himself is to marry his wife or husband for the wrong reason. There are several wrong reasons why people get married. One of the wrong reasons and perhaps one of the most prominent of the wrong reasons is to marry out of sympathy.
There are many scenarios under this subheading of marrying for sympathy that relationship coaches experience in the course of counseling and training. Some of the most common are when a woman becomes pregnant as a result of premarital sex and marries a person just because her brother or sister dumped that person. Between these two extremes are those who enter into relationships with girls who are being abused by those they serve. Some men get involved with neighborhood maids or the relatives of their neighbors who are being abused. Women also fall into these kinds of challenges.
When sympathy forms the basis of a relationship with the opposite sex, it is like playing with a powder keg over a fireplace. Sympathy is a powerful emotion. It is so overwhelming that it becomes difficult for the parties involved to consider the critical elements at the base of a joyful relationship such as friendship, understanding, compatibility, etc. If the man is the one to sympathize with, he is so in love with what he sees as the work of the Good Samaritan that he does not consider what material the woman is made of, her attitudes, desires and mentality. He doesn’t stop to find out what life purposes she has, what goals she’s focused on, and how all of these can fit into her own desires. If it is the woman who sympathizes, she goes through the same emotions and also begins to think that if she saves the young man, he will remain faithful to her forever.
The findings, however, have shown that the truth is far from what these sympathizers-lovers think. If as a result of your efforts the captive is released, he or she will do what all captives do: “run away.” Running away here may not mean running away from their sympathizers-lovers, although that has been known to happen with people who confess that the only feeling they had was escaping from the environment. In many cases, lover-sympathizers begin to act as saviors and lordships. This is generally resisted, first psychologically and then verbally. And there goes your peace and comfort.
The marriage relationship requires both parties to be open to each other. Open, which means that there are no secrets in their hearts that the other partner cannot enter. Once these secret feelings are there, reactive communication occurs rather than receptive communication.
These missions of sympathy when it emanates from the premarital sexual pregnancy, the woman does not feel completely happy in the relationship. This stems from the fact that as the usual challenges appear on the scene, instead of the woman finding a good reason to hold out; she just thinks she’s in trouble from the pregnancy. Some have confessed that if they did not get pregnant, they would in no way end up with the man they are married to. Instead of viewing the usual challenges of marriage and parenting as learning opportunities, they mortify themselves about getting pregnant. And sometimes, they blame the man for putting them in the family path. Some blame the child that resulted from the pregnancy. Hatred of a child is known to have grown from such situations and created lasting bitterness.
For men, having failed to assess the character, behavior and temperament of their spouse before marriage due to the overwhelming influence of the emotion of sympathy, when the woman shows her true character, they are usually overwhelmed. They see themselves making terrible mistakes. They now live the rest of their lives in regret, withdrawal, or wickedness or under the influence of these three negative but powerful emotions.
We need to be rooted in the tablet of our heart that the only good enough reasons to marry someone are the fundamental elements of a joyful relationship. If during a relationship with the opposite sex there is no opportunity for friendship and if both are not clear about the basic purpose of marriage, then there is no other reason why the relationship should continue beyond the next few hours. .
Interestingly, many marriages are based on sympathy.
Young single adults (18-30 years old) and single adults (31 years or older) should not marry anyone for the purpose of saving face or saving someone from suffering. Rather than corner yourself in this quagmire, why not follow proper dating, courtship and commitment practices that do not include sexual intimacy? You need to remember that sexual intimacy is only appropriate in a legally and legally married marriage contract. You must remember that the basic purpose of sexual intimacy is primarily for procreation and building companionship.
The excitement and pleasure that accompany sexual intercourse are meant to invite people to take responsibility for it. Any other use of sexual intimacy outside of legal and legal marriage is a violation of the law. And lawbreakers must bear the full weight of the law. In most cases, there would be no external police to arrest him, no external court to try him, and no external prison to sentence him. But there is an internal version of the police, the court and the prison and a large farmland where your forced labor would take place if you commit this crime.
Wich is the way to go?
This is the way to follow. Rather than focusing on sympathy, those planning to marry should focus on what’s most important: the purpose of marriage: companionship and procreation. Remember that the good Lord Himself said of Adam in the scriptures: “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18), so he made Eve keep him company. Do not forget also that the Creator himself gave you the command to “multiply and fill the earth” (Genesis 1:28). However, this is the creator’s approval of sexual intimacy in the marriage relationship with the intentions and purposes clearly spelled out. Latter-day prophets have clearly stated that “sex between a man and a woman in a legal and lawful marriage is ordained by God.” These are the fundamental elements that must be established before continuing in the marriage plan with someone. Both parties must know and understand this completely. This knowledge and understanding would entail relationships such as those supported by the foundation of a building. Getting married for any other reason is like putting the building on your roof.