Anger is our emotional gatekeeper and, if used effectively, it will give us the ability to interact with the world with full awareness of when our emotional doors should stay open and when to keep them closed.
Imagine the doorman for a moment. She knows that her job is to protect. She also knows that if she is overprotective, those inside the door will starve or suffer from a lack of exposure to the outside world.
In the same way, anger protects our most vulnerable emotions. When we feel emotions such as fear, disappointment, pain, grief, loss, rejection, humiliation, jealousy, being taken advantage of, etc. Anger forms a protective layer to prevent others from exploiting us. This is a wonderful tool in our emotional arsenal. Unfortunately, like the jealous guardian who keeps the door closed, anger can be destructive by fostering isolation from ourselves and others.
When our anger is appropriate, others will know through good communication that we have been negatively affected by their actions, and in turn, we can take steps to meet our own needs to alleviate our pain, disappointment, shame, etc. without getting mad uselessly.
Let’s see anger for what it is: the emotional guardian that protects our other emotions, yet we must also remember that there is a delicate balance between protections and suffocation.