Thanksgiving weekend is over and even though I abused my body with enough food for a month, I am still happy to have the opportunity to spend the holiday weekend with my family and friends. From what I saw from my Facebook friends, most people were genuinely “grateful” for the opportunity to meet with friends and family and take the opportunity to truly reflect on the generosity of their lives.
But many people also posted sad and melancholy thoughts about missing family members who are deceased or far away or any number of circumstances (physical or emotional) that separate friends and family. The fact is, while the holidays are supposed to be joyous and happy, it’s also the time of year when people are most unhappy, sad, sentimental, and depressed. The emotional pain felt by many people is evidenced by the annual increase in suicide rates between Thanksgiving and New Years.
Although Thanksgiving is supposed to be a time to “give thanks” for what you have, unfortunately it’s also the time of year when people focus on what they “don’t have.” And once you start focusing on what’s missing in your life (not enough love, not enough money, work they hate, people they miss), a vicious downward spiral begins that has people absolutely hating the season. Christmas.
I believe that the true meaning of Thanksgiving is not only “giving thanks”, but also “giving thanks in giving”. My sister-in-law Liz recently lost her granddaughter in a tragic car accident and it would have been easy to spend Thanksgiving consumed by that loss. But she chose to cook Thanksgiving dinner for several young servicemen and women, all friends of her daughter-in-law, who is on active duty in the Air Force. Although it doesn’t take away Liz’s pain, she gives her the opportunity to actively overcome her grievance by “giving herself to others.”
Our family doesn’t really get together for the holidays since my mom passed away two years ago. We all live on different islands and find it difficult to bring our own families together. I know my little brother, Bernie, really misses my mom and dad during the holidays, but this year, he decided to spend time with my niece, Francine, who is in the middle of a serious battle with cancer. I know that this act of “giving” really helped him get over his personal sadness over the loss of our parents.
We have a lot of “personal power” to help affect the mindset of other people who may be sad or depressed during the holidays. A call, a visit, a card, even a simple text message does wonders for the recipient, but the REAL benefit comes to the “giver” who has the opportunity to connect with that part within us that believes we are good and kind and who we are. We really care about things beyond ourselves. It’s a wonderful opportunity to get away from our normal thinking of “what am I getting out of this?” and rise to the thought of “what am I becoming?” that helps us see that we can generate happiness within ourselves and transmit it so easily to others.
And we can do this despite the circumstances that may be happening in our lives. Giving thanks for everything we have is amazing, but we give ourselves a gift that will continue to help us grow and mature as people when we show that gratitude to others in need.