‘Dick head’ was what I thought when I saw an outraged driver ahead of me at the traffic light who was not moving when the signal turned green. As a consequence of this, myself and other drivers behind were held up and we were unable to pass before the red light came on again. He was judging him, assuming he was lazily letting his attention wander at the junction, and thus he was slow to react.
However, I have done something similar before. This unfair judgment from someone we don’t even know is probably pretty common. I didn’t stop to consider the possibility that the driver had a problem with the stuck car, or maybe he was distracted by a wasp or a child in the back seat. Who knows?
When meeting people, don’t most of us have a tendency to judge them on the basis of the flimsiest evidence? We can notice, for example, their dress and speech, or their facial expressions and, as a result, make unwarranted assumptions about their social status, attitudes and character.
If we value non-discrimination and inclusion, we may wonder why judgment is so easy.
Mindfulness meditation recognizes the challenge. Therefore, it helps people see how they can get caught up in the stream of thoughts and feelings that they experience in ways that are not helpful.
“Gradually, we can train ourselves to notice when our thoughts are taking over and realize that thoughts are simply ‘mental events’ that do not have to control us.“(Professor Mark Williams, clinical psychologist).
However, this detachment from judging things emotionally takes a lot of practice.
I would suggest that there are three reasons why it is so difficult to stop judging
1 Effect of social culture on judging
The first reason is that we cannot avoid the effects of our social culture on us. We have automatic thinking habits that we often don’t even notice. The media often reinforce them. We are aware of how social stereotypes affect prejudices. But there are others less obvious.
The halo effect is one example, when we inadvertently think that any attractive individual we meet is more likely to be friendly and cooperative. Similarly, we might view any unattractive person as reserved and unwilling to help out. Another example is if we automatically assume that the non-muscular individual is neither fit nor athletic. Because such thoughts remain on the fringes of our normal consciousness, they are difficult to notice let alone eradicate.
The solution is to stop jumping to conclusions based on insufficient information.
2 Judging for selfishness
The second reason why it is so difficult to stop passing judgment has to do with the selfish inclinations of our human nature. Our selfish mind first approaches people with a “no.” For example, if we think they belong to the wrong social class, not the correct ethnic group, not one of us. If we can show they are bad, it makes us feel good. We blame and accuse another group or person and feel superior.
“Don’t judge, or you too will be judged.” (Jesus Christ)
Franciscan friar Richard Rohr points out that when Christ said ‘do not judge’, he meant that we must first be ready to say ‘yes’ before saying ‘no’. Be inclusive. Suspend trial. Do not show that others are wrong to show that we are right. Give others the benefit of the doubt.
3 Need for rational judgments
I would suggest a third reason why it is so difficult for us to stop making judgments is the inevitable need to use common sense applied to matters of concern.
Here are some examples of the need for a thoughtful judgment between what is good and what is bad.
– Juries must exercise a fair trial of guilt or innocence. The verdict greatly affects the reputation of the accused.
– Job interviewers must judge who the best candidates are without prejudice. Your correct choice affects the effectiveness of the company.
– Examiners must exercise their academic judgment with due diligence when grading exams, as the results generally affect the future career of the student.
– As citizens of a democratic society we are asked to vote for a government. Consequently, we will want to exercise our political judgment to choose the one that best suits the needs of the country.
– Parents need moral judgment to decide what to teach their children about right and wrong.
– As private individuals, we need to find a meaningful sense of the chaos and uncertainties that surround us. So we use our rationality, as well as our feelings, to discern what is right and good in life. What values to take into account in which to put our hope.
Achieve a balance between the head and the heart
People, in my opinion, have rightly rejected the idea of judgment because of the all-or-nothing ways of thinking found in some of the orthodox teachings of Christianity. You are saved or not, believer or not, sinner or not, deserving of punishment in hell or reward in heaven. There is also the old idea that a severe deity causes human suffering by seeking revenge for Adam’s original sin in the garden of Eden. I think this is understandably considered silly these days.
Some feel that life simply has no rational meaning: suffering, chaos, disaster. They cannot understand it. One result has been a loss of expectation in the “postmodern culture” of the Western world that there is a rational truth about life. Consequently, each person’s understanding is considered as valid as everyone else’s. I suspect this is one of the reasons that interest has increased in mystical writing, mindfulness meditation, compassion-focused training, or new age writing, all movements that emphasize personal experience rather than an intellectual framework of ideas about objective reality. Ideas that require our discernment and evaluation.
What worries me is not the growth of such movements, which are very important for spiritual development, but rather some individual followers of them who do not try to find a rational sense of the mystery of life. I assume this is the result of confusing an attempt to make a rational judgment (which is good) with quick judgment reactions (which is bad).
“Stop judging by mere appearances, but judge correctly.” (Jesus Christ)
