When I teach my American Business Etiquette course to multicultural audiences, I receive many questions about appropriate and inappropriate behavior in the American workplace. Because norms vary between cultures, cross-cultural behavior norms can be inappropriate, sometimes shocking, or even legally unacceptable and subject to lawsuit.
Despite the increasing focus on cultural understanding in recent decades, managing the cultural differences of international professionals and their families is often at the bottom of the priorities. Human resource professionals should keep in mind that while many cultures share the same values and concepts (for example, punctuality, business etiquette, romantic love, and revenge), the real difference is in how they are interpreted. For example, there is no doubt that romantic love in France will be different from romantic love in Iceland or Egypt. Therefore, we must keep in mind that socially acceptable behavior varies across cultures. What is correct in one society will not be correct in the other.
Consider this passage from Laura Klos-Sokol, quoted in R. Nolan’s excellent book “Communication and Adaptation Across Cultures”: “Imagine a professional meeting that begins like this: A woman walks into an office and introduces herself, holding out her hand to shake only for him to kiss it. Then he helps her out of her coat and takes her arm to lead her to a chair three feet away. This is the Polish way: I could sue you in the United States.”
I have come across similar behavior many times in my native Armenia and Russia. This was part of good manners and considered “classy” behaviour. In some cultures, males are expected to be dominant and gallant. On the other hand, when I first experienced the American “bear hug”[1] in Armenia with a man from the United States, I was very uncomfortable and relieved that my compatriots were not there to witness such a “frivolous” gesture.
Professionals moving to the United States should be aware of the unspoken rules of gender interaction accepted in this country. Not knowing the rules can become traumatic and even dangerous from a legal perspective: the employer can be sued for sexual harassment. On the other hand, a student of mine from the north of Brazil once told me that she missed that whistle of admiration (or mockery, I thought) that men produced when she passed by.
It can be normal in some workplaces in northern Brazil to whistle when an attractive woman walks by. Whistling: Not something you’d expect a man to do on the streets or workplace of America, even if you’re Sophia Loren or Miss America. Men in Italy are known for hissing at attractive women in a way that would make most American construction workers blush. … Italian, Brazilian and Armenian women cannot be offended by such behavior and even take it as an expression of gratitude. As a general rule, professional women in the US would not appreciate it. This can be very upsetting and threatening to women in North America and they may find it humiliating and discriminatory. As a nation, Americans are committed to equal rights for women. For this reason, women are expected to be treated as equals to men.
Many countries around the world have laws against sexual harassment. However, different nations have different interpretations of them. That’s why I define sexual harassment as “behavior that is inappropriate (from an American point of view) when interacting with the opposite sex.” (Ameri$peak, Succeed in America Books, 2006, p. 66).
In the business world, lack of information about etiquette and unspoken rules about interaction and gender norms can create misunderstandings crucial to a person’s success.
To help your foreign-born employees understand US workplace standards of conduct.
Consider the possibility that you actually have a problem. Never assume that your employees know the intricacies of gender interaction in the US or you will have a problem or even…sue!
Consider hiring a professional to run a training program and set expectations about American work culture.
[1] The Bear Hug is a tight, emotional hug that signifies a greeting (people’s hands clasp and upper parts of the body come into close contact for a second or two) – NV, see Ameri$peak update on SucceedinAmerica.com.
