Living in a house where your mother is a narcissist is never easy to admit. They hide under someone else’s facade. They affirm someone better, a successful parent to the outside world. But the real drama and abuse happens behind closed doors.
Abused teenager suffers from emotional pain, shame, disrespect where they feel unworthy and guilty for who they are. They have no right to shine and grow with dignity as independent human beings.
It is especially visible when a girl is entering the puberty stage. That is why the narcissistic mother treats her daughter in a more cruel way than her son. So, she becomes very jealous, possessive and abusive. She treats her like an extension of herself.
Because? He realizes that he is getting older! He realizes that he missed great opportunities in life, great relationships, and deals with his own abuse in the past. Her daughter reminds him of the painful truth about her own life. She is a threat to her and blames her for sacrificing her life for housewife.
That is why jealousy is coming to the surface. He must take every opportunity to unleash all his pent up anger on her. She finds a temporary release from her low self-esteem and feelings of failure from her.
Through his abuse, he damages his daughter’s self-esteem and self-worth. That is why she is unable to develop her full potential and happiness. The hidden message for her is that “you have no right to be happy, free, beautiful and successful.”
She experiences his harsh criticism, manipulation, shame, and humiliation on her female body parts. She creates more havoc and more doubt in her young mind. She is loaded with toxic and limiting beliefs and negative emotions.
After so much abuse, her daughter gives up and accepts who she thinks she’s become. The narcissistic mother feels liberated and much better about herself. Her growing child of hers is not a threat to her right now until the next emotional threat of hers appears. Then the cycle of abuse will take place again.
No one can accept that kind of deal. A young daughter is angry and may rebel. The narcissistic mother hates disagreements and opposition, so she will fight to punish it. In her mind, she belongs to her.
What can we do about it? This is a very difficult question when the adolescent is still living with a narcissistic mother.
Many years later, she is ready to face the truth and come to terms with a demonic past with a mother who still mistreats her. It is never easy to say ‘NO’ to stop adult abuse. So the no contact decision is life changing.
It is possible to break free from narcissistic abuse. You must acknowledge the past and address negative and toxic beliefs and memories. When you do that, it is possible to tune out and remove traumatic memories and feelings from your mind. Then the essential life force energy will return to your body and make it free and resilient at ease.
Unfortunately, the narcissistic mother never changes. She gets older, the mental disorders get stronger and she’s more toxic to the people she lives with.
Fixing this person is never an option, as they will never succeed. Remember: you will never fix a narcissistic mother but you can save your life.
