Go with the natural flow of events
What are you resisting right now in your life? Is it the sudden change in circumstances in relation to the Coronavirus? Is it something that you are missing, such as being in touch with your loved ones, a friend, co-workers or others? What negative emotions are you experiencing as a result? Is it anger, frustration, anxiety, fear, or something else? How are you responding to them?
I realize that I am asking a lot of questions, but it is important that we understand what is the cause of our emotions. Now, you could say that I am angry and frustrated at being isolated from others against my will. And you wouldn’t be wrong if you feel that way, but what is the rationale behind it? You see, the emotions you are experiencing may not only be attributed to the separation. There could be something deeper below the surface that warrants your investigation. In my experience, working with people over the years, those who respond best to change always thrive.
These are people who are psychologically flexible and embrace whatever life throws at them. It does not mean that they like what is happening. And I’m not suggesting that you like what is happening either because it would be negligent on my part. What I invite you to do is accept your current conditions to the best of your ability and make the most of them. Is this something you are willing to pay attention to? Could you consider the idea that you don’t need to like your current circumstances, but stop resisting?
Resistance is futile because, ultimately, reality trumps our struggles and emotions. And who says life should meet our expectations of how things should unfold? Life is a self-sufficient system that operates by its own natural laws. We must learn to respect them because we are a drop in an ocean of vast cosmic intelligence, working tirelessly to maintain order. But sometimes what we initially experience is chaos expanding to create order. It makes it easier if we stop fighting what is happening and let ourselves be carried away by the natural flow of events. This is what is meant by being thankful. It is the idea of searching for hidden gems contained in unexpected events.
Life is not personal
Without a doubt, what we pay attention to becomes our focal point. So if you turn your attention to unpleasant circumstances, you will find evidence of it (confirmation bias) and include it in your experience. But this comes at a cost to your well-being, which is paramount to your physical and mental health. Responding to change in the affirmative means that even if circumstances are not as we would like them to be, we can turn misfortune into triumph. It means looking for the positive side of every experience, even if we have to look a lot, there will always be a positive lesson.
Listen, life is unfair. When we were protected by our parents or guardians when we were young, we could have assumed that life was fair. But we mature and discover through heartbreak, setbacks, and disappointments, life is anything but fair. This is because life is not personal. Read it again and mark it somewhere on your computer or smartphone. Life is not personal. You are part of the ecosystem of life and when you cooperate and collaborate with this energetic force, circumstances will benefit you.
So, let’s go back to my previous questions about what you are resisting right now. How can you take advantage of that experience and find a hidden treasure among it? Could you give yourself the gift of sitting with your negative emotions to explore what is at the center of your resistance? I assure you that this practice alone can change your life more than you think.
It will allow you to control your emotions and understand your underlying motive. You don’t need to struggle with life because doing so means resisting the gifts it brings. Those gifts will rarely come in the way you expect. They are often disguised as: difficulty, pain, struggle, and disappointment and require that we face them with optimism rather than resistance. I often wondered: Why do some people struggle with change while others take it easy? Why don’t these people let their experiences discourage them? What do they know that others don’t?
I’m not convinced that successful people are wiser or smarter than the rest of us. However, I am sure that you have experienced anguish, suffering and misfortune knowing that difficulties do not come to disturb our peace, but to anchor ourselves in our resilience and sharpen the saw of our character. That is why those who respond best to change will thrive because they adapt to their circumstances and make the most of it. So, give yourself that gift right now. Give yourself the gift of sitting with your emotions for 30 minutes, to explore what is really going on below the surface. Give yourself the gift of unlocking your true wisdom. Only then will you realize that thriving is not a state of mind, but a way of being in the world.