Traditionally, weddings usually consist of a flower girl and a ring bearer. These children are most often on the bride’s side of the family and are children between the ages of three and ten.
But what if you have a large family and many friends with young children? What if you want to include your fiancee’s side of the family as well? Or maybe you don’t want to stop including your friends and family who are more into your “tweens” simply because they are older than the traditional flower girl and ring bearer age.
Everything about bridal traditions is changing, and bridal party roles are no exception. This opens up a new opportunity to include everyone, reducing the chances of hurting feelings in the family.
Alternative roles for your little ones are plentiful. You just need to get creative! Think outside the basket or pillow and pick up some of these fun and equally adorable ideas. In this way, everyone has something to contribute.
Present small bouquets or individual flowers to one or two of the girls to carry down the aisle and present to the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom.
Make older boys bridesmaids or groomsmen instead of flower girls and ring bearers.
Ask a couple of girls to carry your train behind you instead of flowers in front of you.
Girls can bring baskets of flowers to hand out to guests as they go down the hall. This is generally best done with older girls who will not be as easily distracted or as likely to “flinch.”
Ask the children to distribute programs, birdseed, scrolls, bubbles, or other brochures before or after the ceremony.
Don’t forget the pets! You can certainly include the family dog as a ring bearer or “best dog.” Just make sure if you are actually going to tie rings that someone is responsible for handling the dog so there are no rings out of control! Also, it’s best to make sure the dog is friendly and can handle being in a large crowd.
If you can’t help but include the little ones who won’t be able to stand or walk far enough to reach the aisle themselves, why not ask the older children to carry them down the aisle in a decorated wagon? This will surely get a lot of “awwww …”
A new trend is for children to carry a sign as they walk down the hall in front of you. “Here Comes the Bride” is very popular. After the ceremony, they can follow you with “Just Married”.
If you want to incorporate more than one ring bearer, but still like the traditional idea of a ring on a pillow, why not have a little one wear the bride’s rings and another little one wear the groom’s ring?
Another popular new trend, usually the best for outdoor weddings, is for the little ones to blow bubbles to announce the entrance of the bride. For indoor weddings, the ringing of bells is also popular.
If you think your little ones are better off walking down the hall and just looking cute than doing a chore, there are some great alternatives so they don’t at least get empty-handed:
- Flower balls
- Pinwheels
- Wands
- Bibles or books
- Balloons
- Umbrellas
- Artificial bird nests with birds
It is not even necessary to have the same number of boys and girls, or the same number of children on each side of the family. Some weddings don’t even ask everyone to wear the same dress or suit. The more children you include, the more difficult it can be to coordinate those children’s parents and young children to purchase their wedding day items, accessories, etc. And kids grow up so fast that you might find yourself wearing a bunch of dresses and tuxedos too big for when the wedding rolls around!
Maybe set a color like all ivory or all white and play with accessories like bow ties and headdresses. Allowing for some individuality can make it more comfortable for little ones and affordable for parents. Parents will appreciate this gesture.
Most of the time flower girls and ring bearers are for show only. Adult wedding attendees can wear the rings themselves. But you would be missing out on some serious adoration by eliminating the roles of your beloved children.
The alternatives are good for incorporating everyone. And if someone “flinches” or just tires out before their big time arrives, don’t worry! You’ll still get your rings and there will still be plenty of photo opportunities, whether it’s with the little brat who refuses to act (always good to show off later after they’re grown), or the sweetie cake that fell asleep on the altar. or in mom’s arms before the “Yes, I do.”