The death of Anna Nicole Smith fascinates me. For one thing, the public reaction to death is as intense as death itself. The public longs to know why and how he died. We want to blame something. A sudden death leaves people with many unanswered questions and can grieve for years. The idea that a death can occur for no apparent reason is simply unacceptable.
As a licensed clinical social worker who thought she was well trained in death and dying issues, I was stumped when my husband died at 35 in much the same way as Anna Nicole. Mike was almost 36 years old, he was tall, slim and healthy and his heart stopped. Everything happened in an instant. There were no drugs. No alcohol. No answers. It’s been 18 years since that tragedy and I still have unanswered questions.
I suspect the same will happen with Anna Nicole Smith. So how do we cope when we can’t explain? How do we get to a level of acceptance that sometimes we just don’t have all the answers? How do we heal pain and loss when it is inexplicable?
Many years since my own personal tragedy has told me that our profession needs tools to help people deal with the inexplicable. I found some answers by arranging teddy bears in a model to help heal pain. I have not seen anything that works better.
I do not claim to have all the answers. Someone? Sometimes there are just no answers. We do not know. We cannot explain the inexplicability of a sudden death. Our goal as treatment providers is to help reach a level of acceptance for which we have no answers.
Anna Nicole Smith’s death remains a mystery. While an autopsy is being conducted, I suspect that when so much is said and done about this loss it will continue to baffle us. It’s time to help people figure out how to achieve acceptance when we just can’t explain everything.
Anna Nicole Smith, may she be at peace and may the public reach a level of acceptance for which we have no answers.