What is a bully?
A Bully is someone who teases, hits, pushes or threatens another. If, for example, you are with your friends and you start to make fun of someone in the group, you are being a stalker. You may be thinking, “Peking Duck, it’s all fun!” True, but are you having fun at the expense of someone else’s feelings? Any mocking or hateful words can lead to lasting painful memories.
When I was a cute little duckling, there was a big brown duckling that was bigger than me but not quite developed. He would swim in our pond showing off and being mean to all the other ducklings. Even though he was mean to them most of the time, the little ducklings still followed him around like he was a great leader. For some reason, they thought it was sweet to hang out with an older duckling.
One day the other ducklings and I were playing tag and the big brown duck swam close to us laughing and calling me. He made fun of my glasses, my hat, and my Chinese accent. Soon the other ducks stopped playing with me and started teasing me too. Even my best friend Orlando Jim started chatting with everyone else.
The big brown duck swam towards me with all the other ducklings following. He looked me square in the eye and said, “I don’t like the way you squawk!” then he turned to the other ducks and yelled, “The Peking Duck squeals like a little pig when it quacks!” Then he opened his mouth wide and let out a great shriek. He told all the other ducks to squeal and they did. Soon they were all swimming in a circle around me, squealing and laughing. I was embarrassed and hurt. Tears ran down my beak. I submerged my entire body under water to escape. I swam home as fast as I could. Most of the way home they followed me squealing and laughing. When I got home, I wiped the tears from my eyes. My mother asked me what was wrong with me, but I never told her. I kept it to myself.
The next day my best friend Orlando Jim came to play. He couldn’t understand why he was so upset. I asked him why he had to make fun of me. Why didn’t he tell the other ducks how bad it was to bother another? He tilted his head and whispered, “We were kidding.” I asked him how he would feel if I made fun of him. He replied: “he would be angry with you.” “And that’s how I feel right now,” I explained, “ANGRY!”
The point is, if you joke around and make fun of another person, you will hurt their feelings and make them angry. If you are with your friends and one person is harassing another, don’t support the harasser; support the person who is being bullied. Be a wise squawk and say, “Hey, cut it out!” Or better yet, find an adult to help you end a very bad situation.
Remember, if you join in on the teasing and hurtful words, you also become a bully.
How to tell if a student is being bullied
If you notice a change in behavior, you may want to talk to the child to see if there is a problem. For example, if a child is normally outgoing and willing to participate one day and then suddenly falls silent and is afraid to raise their hand. However, a quiet child becomes loud and obnoxious. If this happens, you may want to talk to the child to see if someone is bullying him. Unfortunately, when you ask the student if there is a problem, he or she may not give you a truthful answer, so it is very important that you recognize the warning signs.
Here is a list of warning signs:
By keeping a watchful eye, you can help prevent serious emotional and physical harm.
How do you spot a stalker?
Unlike movies and TV shows that dress bullies in leather jackets, oiled hair, and tattoos with a mean look on their faces, many real-life bullies don’t look like any of these characters. The truth is, a bully can be tall, big, short, smart, average, muscular, skinny, not-so-smart, not-so-muscular, short, young, old. The one thing all bullies have in common is that they like to be the boss or the leader. You can tell they are bullies when they try to drain the self-esteem of others in order to look and feel better.
Here is a list of things to look for in your classroom, in the hallway, on the playground, or at home:
If a child pushes another child
If a child makes fun of another child’s appearance
If a child is always speaking negatively about another student or students
If there are conversations between children that leave one or more outside the group
If you see students on the playground huddling in a circle
If a student reacts violently towards you or another student
If you see students appear to be bullied by another student
If you see a repeated and consistent negative action towards another student
There is an imbalance of power between an alleged bully and the targeted student.
Remember that all students, staff, and parents have the power to end a conflict situation before it escalates into a negative physical or emotional situation.