During the course of our lives we meet thousands of people. Some just pass by, some stick around for a little while, and some stick around for a long time. No encounter is meaningless. In any case, everyone comes to teach us something or to learn something. We can call them friends.
Friends are so much fun. We learn to have a great time and treat them intimately. We share experiences and grow from the relationship. They touch our souls.
Although many friends come and go throughout our lives, some of them remain close to us for a long time. Of those, we find one or two who are truly our soulmates, even though we remain basically different at our core.
Friends are accepting; they make us feel comfortable. Friends are honest: they will tell us when we are going too far. Friends are our physical angels: they see the big picture and give us objective advice. Friends care about us, encourage us, support us, and share our story.
Friends are our lovers in the true sense of the word. Love is deep, moving, trusting and forgiving. Because there is true love and no sex involved in the relationship, friendships are free from negative emotions. You’ve probably noticed that sex is a major disruptive factor in many relationships.
Friendships are very liberating. And fun!
Sometimes, however, you find that your friend is subtly and slowly but surely distancing himself from you. You realize that there is a change. What used to be a reciprocal relationship has become a one-way street. You feel like every time you throw a boomerang it doesn’t come back. It is lost somewhere. You feel that you are giving but not receiving.
Sometimes people go through stages and yes, if a friend distances himself, you have to give him space. You give space and keep your channels of communication open. Eventually, they come back. However, sometimes space becomes a void and sooner or later you realize that the void cannot be filled.
It’s time to get divorced.
Divorcing friends, like divorcing partners, can be truly traumatic and devastating. However, in this case, love never dies. A true friend will never betray the will and, consequently, there will never be a need to transform the person into an enemy, as is often the case with couples.
How do you divorce your friend who has been a huge part of your story for so long? Here are my suggestions:
1. Make a list of the things you really appreciate about the person.
2. Make a list of everything you have noticed that has been going on between the two of you.
3. Write a list of the reasons for the separation.
4. Talk to your friend and present your list.
5. Announce your decision to get a “divorce.”
6. Tell them how much their friendship has meant to you.
7. Apologize for anything you have done that may have insulted or hurt them.
8. Give them the opportunity to apologize, if necessary.
9. Separate your paths and never burn bridges.
10. Remember experiencing the loss of a great relationship.
11. Cry.
12. Live your life the best you can. You’ll be fine.
13. When the time comes and the occasion calls for it, get back in touch.
14. Take an interest, listen to the person, and then let them go.
15. Over, and over, and over.
You will feel liberated.