Bulimia affects many areas of the life of the sufferer. One of the most affected is the area of relationships (especially intimate and sexual relationships).
The latest research found that:
– People with bulimia have insecure bonds with their partners.
– Having intimate relationships of poor quality or absent.
– Experiencing self-silence, shyness during sexual activity.
– Bulimic women attempt to change themselves by trying to meet the perceived expectations of their partners.
– Bulimics often have a negative attitude towards their partners and feel that they always attract the wrong person.
– Some bulimics completely avoid intimate relationships and replace them with their bulimia.
– Many believe that if they had to choose between bulimia and an intimate partner, they would choose bulimia.
Why is all this happening?
The answer would probably be that bulimia as a mental state is based on feelings of emotional secrecy, guilt, shame, and anxiety. All these negative feelings override the emotions on which stable intimate relationships are built. It is obvious to everyone that it is impossible to create love relationships out of feelings of guilt and shame.
Many sufferers treat their partners in the same way that they relate to food and eating: unrealistically. They can literally “choke” on their relationships, have numerous partners and be promiscuous for a while, but then “purge” them by being intolerable, rejecting, blaming everyone, and ruining the good relationships they once had.
Refusing to grow is also an important component of this disease. By changing her body and stopping her menstruation (a condition known as amenorrhea), the woman returns to childhood and avoids the challenges of normal adults (this includes relationships, sex, having children, and having a job).
Some patients manage to get married and have children, but their relationships do not provide the adequate satisfaction that they normally expect from marriage. This can happen for several reasons:
1. Bulimics are not happy with themselves.
2. Due to their insecurities and feelings of guilt, they can also attract a person with psychological problems (insecure, unstable and addicted to something).
3. The addiction to binging and purging can go so far that it becomes unmanageable and your marriage can end because of it.
Coexisting personality disorders and other mental illnesses also play a role in what bulimics do with their relationships. It is not uncommon for people with bulimia to have obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, panic disorder, self-mutilation, alcoholism, drug addiction, and others.
Having a coexisting illness is an added complication for them to develop further intimate relationships, often making it impossible to start and/or maintain any relationship.
What is a solution for all this?
Diverting the person’s attention away from food, weight, body image, and calming the brain off “useless noise” is a great first step in helping bulimics overcome their affliction.
Another way is to work with the patient’s subconscious mind, removing the subconscious blocks that caused the bulimia in the first place. They have to replace bad bulimic feelings with positive constructive behaviors.
By doing this, patients can revive existing relationships that have soured due to their bulimia, or gain new, positive, healthy relationships with their crush.
Bottom Line: First of all, the bulimic needs to step back and realize that it is the bulimia that is destroying their chances of having a fulfilling and satisfying relationship.
Being sneaky and secretive about your bulimia is not conducive to a successful relationship. Blaming their inadequacies on their partners and looking for the easy way out so they can continue their erratic behavior will not help.
The patient has to begin to consciously identify their feelings and analyze them to see if it is bulimia that is speaking. If so, they should immediately discard it and change these thoughts to better and more positive ones.
Like: Instead of thinking about all the negative things about your partner, think about all the good points they have.
The bulimic has to break his conceived preprogramming or subconscious blocks that are holding him back. Mindfulness has the best result in reprogramming the subconscious mind.
