No matter what type of workplace you choose to operate in, without a doubt you have to manage people. They can be direct reports, clients or consumers, interns, freelancers, vendors, colleagues, and of course, most challenging of all, your boss or business partner.
Here are some tips on how to manage behavior and time while reducing everyone’s stress and avoiding conflict:
Take control of the “reply all key”. Probably no other action messes up mailboxes more than “reply all”. It is easier for everyone to robotically or deliberately respond to an entire list than to select a relevant few. Excessive use of the reply all option allows the cycle to continue and the mail to multiply.
Companies, like Nielsen, are taking an aggressive tack in this area according to a recent Wall Street Journal article. They have an anti-respond to everyone stance. Some organizations turn the option off, others use a feature in Outlook that makes it impossible to reply to everyone; others monitor usage and flag abuse.
What is your personal or group rule? Is it okay for your employees not to include you in every dialogue? If you answer “no”, ask yourself “why?”
Stand-up meetings force attendees to get to the point and run the clock. With the rise of video conferencing, I see many more people back in their chairs, to be in full view. A solvable problem that could get everyone to their feet and out of the conference room.
I have a personal rule in this area that I use mainly because I feel too much. Whether it’s a callback or an advisory call, I get up and walk often. It keeps me alert, energized, and away from the distraction of my monitor. It also makes me more aware of time. Initially, I had to move my chair away from the desk to break the habit, but eventually standing seemed normal to me.
immediate feedback. If you saw a little boy making a bad decision, would you wait a week or two, or her next “sit down” to point it out? Would you fill the training moment with unrelated items or preface it with “Just” or “I know you’re not going to like what I have to say?” Of course, no. Why? Because it could be dangerous and definitely ineffective. So why do we hesitate to give instant and specific feedback? Too busy? An easy excuse. Not sure what to say? Possibly, but you know what’s going through your mind and it takes up a good part of your cognitive value right now. Argument that we avoid and delay because we hope the problem will go away or we are simply afraid. Afraid of the pushback we think we’ll get? Afraid that the person doesn’t love us anymore (assuming he ever did)? No, I think it’s because we’re afraid of the unknown and it’s unfamiliar because giving feedback is a rare and underused activity.
Ask most people if they would like the truth rather than being told in an evasive or passive aggressive manner and they will choose the former almost every time. The secret, after collecting the facts, is in the delivery. The conversation, and it is a conversation, and probably both people should be sitting down to have it, is about behavior, not character. It’s what they did or didn’t do, not who they are. It is specific, with examples and suggested solutions framed in the optimism that the person will succeed. The most important thing is about the present.
The measurement results are not output. Unless you’re running a factory, volume is rarely the most important measure and even then quality must replace quantity.
Too many leaders emphasize volume. Number of contacts, response speed, how many pages, etc., are given great value. I met these types of leaders and employees, worked with them, and had work for myself. I call them deep powder skiers because they need a lot of snow to glide through problems or situations. They cheat easily and create large amounts of work for themselves and others. I’ve had my share of managers try to inundate me with so much detail, charts, lists, and narratives in the hope that their sleight of hand will fool me into not picking up on the fact that they missed the mark. Questions like “what was the result?” and suggestions like “let’s work from scratch” would invariably get rejected “but I have a list of each…”. My response would always be “I’m sure you have, but that’s not really the point, is it?”
We are all more than capable of fooling ourselves. By keeping busy, we feel like we are accomplishing something. Have enough evidence and we may not be guilty. It’s easy to do and harder, but not impossible to stop.
Resume
Prudent use of responding to everyone, choosing to stand over sitting, providing immediate and specific feedback, and focusing on results rather than results are just a few of the activities we can incorporate into our daily routine. , with little fuss. , at no cost, and with great benefit. Like any behavior you want to change, you must first admit that you do., begins to surprise you on the spot; then think of options and practice some. Only then does it form a new desirable behavior.