Living a balanced life
When I started my company, I made a commitment to set aside one day a week for “me time.” Now, it took me about three years to seize this day; however, I think I’m finally there! On one of these occasions I decided to do my hair, usually a three hour process. The beauty salon where I do my hair is across the street from a morgue and on this particular day I noticed a young man put a dolly on a van and in about 40 minutes he was back with a business associate. They stopped at the back door, opened the truck door, and put a body in the morgue. A sobering experience to watch; I began to wonder who was under the shroud and what were his last thoughts.
Was this person thinking about the latest business decision where they could have closed the deal faster? Or was this person thinking about his career? Was this person thinking about how much money they had in the bank? Or was it your last thought in your family, how you wish you had spent just one more hour together at your favorite restaurant? Could it have been how you would have liked to read one more bedtime story to your children (or grandchildren)? What were this person’s last thoughts?
I recently met a gentleman whose company interviews a terminally ill patient in the last days of his life; He shared that none of these patients spoke even once about work, money, or things. They spent the remaining time reminiscing about great family experiences or how they wish they had spent just one more day laughing with their family, dancing with their spouse, spending time at their favorite vacation spot. The wisha could have had thoughts.
As extraordinary leaders, it is very easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the business environment (work); however, in the whole scheme of life, how important is that work? Yes, it allows you to enjoy the life you have! Yes, it allows you to lead organizations to greatness! And yes, it allows you to go places you could not go without that income; Yet what have you given up that really matters? If you had seven days to live, how would you like to spend those days? If you had fourteen days to live, who would you like to spend that time with? If you had 365 days to live, how would you live an Extraordinary Life every day?
This is not an article about pessimism and doom, it is a simple reminder that you, the Extraordinary Leader, must live a life that allows you to spend time doing the things that really matter. Life Balance is more than “not working on the weekends”; it’s identifying what matters most and making sure you take the time to do it. For example, for the last 25 years I have constantly said that my priorities are God, Family and then everything else, it sounds good. And yet, during a self-reflection exercise, I found that I am dedicating my quality time to everything else and not to God or my Family. UPS! How easy it is to get caught up in “everything else” in the world!
I hear you loud and clear: “If I don’t do the job … it won’t get done! … I have a C-level position within my company -” I have to sacrifice my relationships to make things happen “…” My company needs me! “All of this is true, however, at what cost? Two more stories and then we’ll take you home!
The first story surrounds Jim Cantalupo, former president and CEO of McDonalds. In 2003, Mr. Cantalupo returned from retirement to take the company to a higher level of success. Under Cantalupo’s leadership, McDonald’s posted its biggest sales increase in 30 years. In 2004, at a restaurant convention, Mr. Cantalupo died. Within hours of Mr. Cantalupo’s death, Andrew McKenna was elected non-executive chairman of the company’s board of directors and Charlie Bell was elected president and chief executive officer.
The second story is more personal. In 1997, I received a call from one of my senior management wives, she told me that Yogi, a phenomenal leader within my group, had died that night. Yogi was in his forties. I cried, contacted my VP and my team, assisted the family in whatever I could do that day, and immediately called a contractor who had been working on a major global implementation and asked them to take responsibility for Yogi to complete the job. . The project was on a schedule and had to be completed. We were sad as an organization and at the same time we had to continue with operations.
I share these two stories with you, the Extraordinary Leader, simply to remind you that as indispensable as you think it is to your organization, they will move on, it is a business. Now please don’t take this as you should neglect your duties … ABSOLUTELY NOT! Your company trusts you to DO IT! However, they will do so much better if you are alive to do it! Living a balanced life is one way to ensure a long, healthy and rich life.
So what does this mean to you? It means identifying what is really important to you in the whole scheme of life and making it and keeping it a priority. Is it a better relationship with your Creator? Is it more quality time with your spouse? What about spending time with your children? When was the last time you went to a baseball game with your child? Or did you date your spouse? A real date … not one where you’re constantly on the phone or answering your blackberry!
If your family is at the top of your list, do you understand the love language of each family member? For example, one of my mother’s love languages is spending time together, she just wants to know that you are there! So sometimes it means taking long shopping trips: I’m not a shopper; however, it is what is important to her, so I do it! My father’s love language is parenting (service), which means that when I need something that I can’t do for myself, I have to let go of my pride and ask for his thoughts, help, and wisdom.
Whatever is important to you, in this case the family, find out how they would value your time with them and just do it. In fact, it can get fun! Yes, I know you thought it would all be about you; indirectly, by making others happy and more satisfied, you will begin to receive what you need for a more balanced life.
Here are 15 tips for a balanced life:
- Determine what is / who is important to you and decide how you are going to spend your time making that person / thing happier.
- Take fifteen minutes at the beginning of each day and decide how you are going to ensure a balanced life for that day. And then wait (intend for it to happen) for it to happen!
- Before you walk out the door, give your spouse a ten-second kiss – every day! During the day, send your spouse an instant message telling him how excited you will be to see him that night.
- Each day before you walk out the door, give each of your children a hug, a compliment, and a blessing! If you are like me, you will also have to say goodbye to your dogs (they love it too!)
- Take the time, at least three to five times a week, to breathe in some fresh air. Take a walk with the whole family; go for a bike ride, go see a little league baseball game or track meet. Exercise your body!
- Spend time with your Creator every day!
- Once a week, play one of your favorite songs “at full volume”, sing it and dance to it. For me it is singing anything by Yolanda Adams. The other day, I was looking for AKC kennels that had miniature schnauzers, when I clicked on a particular website, a song that like the words “they let the dogs out” started to play … I had so much fun singing! and dancing! I had to play it a couple of times! Be Loud! Have fun! Dance! Sing out loud! For those who are a bit shy (or can’t sing or dance), you may want to do this in the privacy of your own home. Live an extraordinary life … today!
- BE always in the moment when you are with others! This one is hard for us visionaries … but it can be done!
- Smile! You would be surprised to see how your smile will change your life and the lives of others who see you!
- When you go on vacation … you really will be on vacation. By the way, make sure you take a vacation every year! Even if it’s a trip to see your parents or a week in Jamaica … really go on vacation. See my favorite vacation spot at the end of the article.
- Get a massage at least once a month. For those working on a tighter budget … take a look at your local massage school!
- What have you always wanted to do? Make a plan to do it this year! What’s your wisha, coulda, woulda statement?
- What is the one thing your family has always wanted to do? Make a plan to do it this year! What is the statement of wisha, coulda, woulda of your family?
- Receive and give 12 hugs every day!
- Decide today that YOU WILL LIVE AN EXTRAORDINARY LIFE TODAY!
Email me and tell me what tips you have implemented and how it has changed your life.
Bottom line: your career is very important, your role as an extraordinary leader within your organization is very important; however, never lose sight of what is really important in life. Every time you take away what’s really important, you cut yourself off from someone who needs you to become extraordinarily cool!
