Lindsey and Juo met while Lindsey was studying abroad at Ewah Women’s University in Seoul, South Korea in 2015. She was there to study for a full year when, out of the blue, Juo messaged her on Instagram. Lindsey was hesitant at first, but she decided it would be a great way to make a friend in Korea. After a few casual dates with friends, Juo asked Lindsey to be his girlfriend on his birthday in November or 2015. Since Lindsey returned to the US in June 2016, they have been in a long-distance relationship with Lindsey. living in Florida and Juo living in South Korea. They see each other every 4 months for 2 months at a time. Giving all her effort in the relationship and using the distance to make their hearts grow bigger. Lindsey and Juo will graduate from university this December, and Lindsey plans to return to Korea in July 2018 after applying to be an English teacher there.
questions to her
On our first date…
Honestly, I kept thinking about all the things that could happen…and worst case scenario, a scene straight out of the movie “Taken.” She made the trip to my campus and patiently waited for me with flowers and a heartfelt letter in hand. We had lunch, tried to talk, but nerves got the best of us, and then we went shopping for a winter coat since I had no idea how to prepare for winter after spending my entire life in Florida.
During the first few months of dating, my deciding factor would be…
any kind of lie If you’re not sincere in the early stages of our relationship, that means instability later on. The other (silly) thing for me would be eating with my mouth open… that’s always been a hobby of mine.
I learned that He is the one for me when…
He told me that he would always take care of me and that no matter how much time passes, he will wait for the day that we can be together. Her dedication sealed the deal.
I had a moment of culture shock when…
We decided to wear a couple’s outfit for the first time! In America, it’s not popular for couples to show themselves like this wearing matching clothes, so when we did it I thought it was very interesting but I LOVED it at the same time. Now, I feel like Juo and I are mixing some part of our outfits most of the time and we both enjoy that!
3 things I love about him are…
the way He cares about me. He always asks me if I have eaten or how my dream was. She offers me her coat when she’s cold or her shoulder when I’m feeling tired. For example, we were going home on the subway one night after a long day and Juo had seized the moment to use his jacket to cover my legs so that he could sit comfortably on my lap while I rested my head on his shoulder. .
The second thing is that he understands me.. He takes the time to listen and listen to what I’m saying. He will listen to me vent and then tell me that everything is fine and to let it go. He doesn’t let our language difference get in the way. If he needs more explanations he will ask and never say never mind or give up and to me that is important.
Third, give your all to our relationship.. She always thinks about our future and talks openly about it. He is comfortable with me and shows me his love continuously. There has never been a time when I couldn’t sense his true mind or intentions. For example, a recent topic we’ve been stuck on is the idea of adopting a dog or cat when I move to Korea. It may seem like a simple topic but in reality it is planning a part of our future and wanting to grow together.
The biggest misconception about your country and culture was…
the idea that Korean guys in Korea would never see a relationship with a foreigner as real. I was always told to be cautious and they might just see it as an easy target or a fun experience to show off to their friends.
The most beautiful thing he did for me was…
Make a personalized photo album with all our memories of our first year together. As a one-year gift to me, Juo created a huge book filled with images after images of all the things we’d done together. It had dates written on every page and little captions for each photo. I couldn’t believe that he had done something like this and for me it was the most special thing I have received because I could see all the time and love that he had put into it. It is something I will treasure forever.
The second thing was that he proudly waited for me at the airport with the most beautiful bouquet of flowers I had ever seen and we both fought back tears as we hugged each other for the first time in months. Seeing the love of your life standing there waiting for you with the biggest smile on her face is one of the best moments anyone in a long distance relationship can experience. Those moments are priceless.
During this relationship, the most important thing I learned about myself was…
that I can be patient and I can say that I learned what it means to show love beyond physical actions. The love can be seen in the words they say to each other and the effort they give every day. I know distance is only a problem in a relationship if you make it one. I have become a very patient person and now understand that waiting is only part of our journey. Juo and I are in it for the long haul and if that means waiting months then so be it. Honestly, it was a skill that I lacked in the past, but this relationship has changed that.
If there’s one piece of advice I could give my western friends who are in AMWF relationships, it would be…
Be yourself without limitations. There is never a limit to how much you can learn about another person’s culture. There is never a limit to becoming a better version of yourself without changing who you are. Finally, there will never be a limit to who you find love and connection with. Know that it’s okay to hug people with different races, ethnicities, religions, and cultures because no one says you have to find love within someone or something familiar.
questions to him
Asking her out for the first time was…
exciting. I first saw her on Instagram and she seemed so beautiful that I had to send her a message. After talking together for a while, I couldn’t wait to meet her in person, so I plucked up my courage and asked!
I learned that Ella is right for me when…
She told me that she would love me forever. Some people think it’s easy to say, but for me it’s something very special because I can really feel her mind. Also, she always knows how to surprise me. For example, she would send me letters in the mail for no reason and fill them with our photos. She always writes me a sweet message on the inside too.
I had culture shock when…
He told me that there wasn’t really a public transportation system in Florida. She Said there was no metro or great bus system and I was shocked! After visiting her in Florida for the first time, I later realized that most people used cars, so there was no need for public transportation.
3 things I love about her are
she loves me unconditionally. I have never felt this kind of love before and it makes me feel special. No matter what, I know she will be by my side and I will absolutely do the same for her.
She is always thinking of me. He recently told me that whenever he talks about me or thinks about me, he will touch our couple ring that we wear. I feel like we share our feelings. If I am happy I can share that happiness with her. If she is sad, I can understand her sadness and do my best to make her happy. She understands me, she makes me happy, she’s beautiful… how can I not love her? Sometimes I still can’t believe she’s my girlfriend!
The biggest misconception about your country and culture was…
that I thought their eating habits would be similar to what I saw in movies and TV shows. When I went to America, I thought I would see everyone eating fast food or frozen dinners every day, but that wasn’t true. I will say that I think eating out is definitely more popular there than it is in Korea, but it’s not what the movies make it out to be.
The things he likes to do for fun with me…
they are traveling and talking! We are obsessed with traveling and making memories around the world. Every time we are together we always plan a trip. Our first trip together was to Tokyo, Japan in 2016! These days we are already planning our next trip for when I go to visit her in the United States. With her, there is never a dull moment. Every time we video chat, call, or message, we are always laughing at something or making each other smile.
During this relationship, the most important thing I learned about myself was…
the need to understand. After being with Lindsey for almost 2 years, I have improved my understanding and listening. Even though she is American and I am Korean, I realized that it doesn’t play a role in our ability to understand each other. I feel like we know each other better because we are both interested in each other’s culture.
If there is one piece of advice I could give to my Asian friends who are in AMWF relationships, it would be…
that if you are long distance now or would like to be in a relationship with someone from a different country in the future, i will just tell you not to give up! If you can’t stay together now, you should show all your love and feelings for that person. Talk about your future. Know where you both want to be in the future and plan for it. It will keep both of you excited and sets a goal for all of you to reach.
