Like everything in life, we are always learning, adapting and improving (either losing ground or stagnating). Stories have a lot to do with hypnosis and help people see things in a different way or open their eyes to the new possibilities that are available to them.
With an awareness of what they want to change or improve, with a subtle shift in belief and a mental rehearsal of their goals or a change of habit and they can make great strides in living a better life.
This often happens with the use of stories: instead of “telling” or “ordering” a person to do something, we just share some stories, some that are related to them and their goals and some seemingly “random” stories that can just confuse them so that they are more open to the lessons below the surface.
So no matter what area of โโmy life I want to improve in, I always prefer to keep my attitude open so that I can learn from EVERYONE and EVERYTHING!
This was great for learning martial arts (did you know that often a new “white belt” will be the guy who gives the new black belt a black eye because the white belt knows so little and is unpredictable?)
This open-minded attitude has always helped me throughout my life.
Once, when I was a teenager and on vacation, I scheduled guitar lessons with someone who taught classical guitar. At that time, I had been playing for a long time, and yet I was still practicing and learning from new people. My friend and his brother had a discussion about this and I didn’t think what he was doing was that weird or cool. It was just my attitude of always wanting to improve in every way possible (or learn to accept myself more deeply, that’s key, but not that easy to do).
Anyway, P said something about “Why is Mike taking the time to take lessons when he’s already such a great guitarist? We only have a few weeks and he’s spending a few hours that he could spend with us.”
M (older brother) “Have you ever considered that THIS is the reason why he is such a great player?”
Anyway, one day, a teenager at our high school who was made fun of by everyone, had the answer to something and he helped me. I thanked him and tried my best to MAKE others treat him with more respect because he actually knew some useful stuff (it was about how to change a string on a guitar with a fancy tremolo bridge which was all the rage back then due to Eddie Van Halen and other musicians — that “dive bomb” effect. Another lesson is to never play a new guitar or use a new amp for a live performance. You need to test drive your gear and get to know it inside out to ensure your best performance)
Anyway, during sound check my high E string broke and only then did I realize how complicated it was to replace a string on this guitar that I had borrowed for the show. He helped me and we were right on time and had a great show.
The same thing happened in Martial Arts class a few years later, where this silent misfit seemed to always look at people when they were training, and yet he rarely trained and was not a “natural” athlete. (actually, neither have I and I’ve always had to work TWICE as hard as everyone else to be good, let alone very good)
Then one day this awkward younger teenager from our martial arts school helped me because I would always nod to him without making fun of him like most of the others did.
He had a very good eye for the weaknesses of the boxers and he kept watching and with his training I improved a lot when I trained with these other boxers. The fact that I ranked pretty high and he was “just” a white belt meant nothing to me – getting better meant a LOT and still does!
Recently I have been practicing certain different aspects of socializing.
Learning something new or putting a new spin on something you already do very well can help you stay motivated and increase your skill set.
I really enjoy improving myself and knowing that I can demonstrate and explain almost anything that will help someone. They trust that I only share what I know will help them.
Mutual respect is key!
That “awkward” martial arts teenager felt that he was being judged by other fighters. Instead, I did my best to remain open and courteous.
That “weird” kid in band class actually had something new and he was proud to show it off and share it with me because I hadn’t joined the masses to make fun of him.
So when someone is training to change a habit or improve their Social Confidence, they can feel that I am motivated to help them AND that I am also doing my own Homework because I always want to improve.
Even if I’m on a different “level” than someone else, they feel like I’m in a similar situation. I am similar in facing challenges, setbacks and that is also why they can feel more confident that I am going to do my own “homework” and guide them through theirs too.
Consider finding a friend (someone you trust) who can help keep you honest and accountable. So that after 3 months you will have obtained excellent results towards some goal or habit change. Keep a journal and ask this trusted friend to call you once a week to keep you progressing (so you don’t slack off or get distracted).
Stay focused and you will see the light at the end of the tunnel ๐
